Archive for the 'Death and Dying' Category



How To Help Someone Cope With Loss

Thursday 5 March 2009 @ 10:02 am

It’s hard to know what to do when a relative or friend passes away.

We might feel helpless in knowing the right way to alleviate the survivors’ suffering, and so it’s tempting do nothing at all: but that is not the right response! To not acknowledge that there has been a loss does more harm than good to the griever; it is actually incredibly consoling to know that there are people out there who care for and who remember the deceased as well as those left behind. There are a variety of ways for you to express your sympathy: here are some ideas to help you know how to be of value to someone who is grieving.

– If you live in the same town, make sure to visit or phone right away. There is a misconception that people want to be left alone in their grieving. While it is true that the bereaved will be busy making funeral arrangements and taking care of the other necessary errands associated with laying a loved one to rest, there will be times when they will want to talk too.

Dropping in with a warm loaf of bread and a listening ear may make all the difference. If they don’t have time to talk, they will tell you; but if they do, plan on spending a good 15 minutes sitting and listening. Express your condolences right away, and then let them do the talking. There will be time later for you to talk about your memories: what the bereaved need now is a chance to vent and unload whatever is on their minds.

– Offer to take on the burdens of everyday living. If the bereaved has young children, she may really appreciate having someone she can depend on to look after them or take over carpool duties for a few days. The bereaved may be a bit embarrassed that family will be coming into town and the house isn’t prepared to receive them: take over housecleaning duties for your friend and she will be very grateful.

– If you live out of town, there are ways to express your sympathy beyond a phone call. Watch for the obituary to appear in the on-line version of the deceased’s newspaper. Once it is posted, most newspapers provide an on-line book of condolences where friends and family can post a sympathy note.

– A physical sympathy card never goes out of style. Unlike an on-line greeting, a paper card provides plenty of room for you to record your memories of the deceased or express your condolences to those left behind; it can also be kept for years to come.

– Send flowers! Bouquets of fragrant and colorful blossoms always boost the spirits of friends and family members and help to decorate a funeral home, sanctuary, and grave site. Although living green plants are lovely, receiving too many will become a burden since the bereaved has to worry about keeping them alive: stick to low maintenance cut flowers.

Don’t pass up opportunities to help the bereaved go through the grieving process both during the funeral week and long afterwards. Don’t assume that because months have passed, the pain is over. Those who grieve will need a listening ear and will want to talk about memories for years to come.

If you live in Georgia and need an exquisite sympathy bouquet or flowers for any occasion, contact the best Atlanta flower shop: A Daisy A Day (http://www.adaisyaday.com). Art Gib is a freelance writer.

[tags]Atlanta flower shop[/tags]




Buying A Funeral Casket When In Grief

Monday 2 March 2009 @ 9:26 pm

When someone close to you dies, the process of arranging a burial or memorial ceremony, as well as all the other aspects that come with the death of a loved one, can be overwhelming. One aspect of planning a funeral or ceremony that should not cause you stress is deciding on the type of casket or burial vessel for your loved one. Perhaps the deceased expressed interest in a certain type of casket or vessel. Perhaps the deceased’s religious traditions require a specific type of casket. Perhaps you’ve been left to pick the right type of casket or vessel without any input from those close to the deceased. Whatever the case, knowing the basic types of caskets and burial vessels will help you make the correct choice without a lot of thought and fuss.

Shopping for caskets is not an easy task. It can be difficult. When people find themselves shopping for caskets, they are usually filled with grief and sadness, and the wide selection of caskets can be overwhelming. You can find different materials for caskets.

In addition to their time of grief, buyers must also contend with the deceptive policies of many funeral homes. It is not uncommon for funeral homes to tell people about their more expensive caskets first and then give shoppers other options only at their request. Most people often end up buying the casket in the middle price range.

Many people are also afraid of appearing cheap if they ask to see the less expensive models. It is a good idea that shoppers familiarize themselves with the Federal Trade Commissions Funeral Rule before buying a casket. There is legislation designed to prevent owners from taking advantage of people in trying times.

Once people are sure they are not being taken advantage of, they can be at ease about which casket they really want. They need to decide whether they want an open funeral casket that displays the deceased during the memorial service. You may choose a hinged casket that allow for the top half to be open for viewing.

Burial caskets usually only have one hinged door that runs the length of the casket. There are also more show caskets that can be rented for the viewing, and a different material used for the burial.

Buying caskets is a challenging ordeal that always comes during trying circumstances, and it can be a tremendous help to be informed about options and price ranges beforehand. While this is a subject that you may not want to deal with, it may be a good idea to deal with this ahead of time, and not when you are grieving.

When you are ready to learn where to buy a funeral casket online, visit bestfuneralcasketsonline.com for selection and pricing in the choices in cheap funeral caskets for sale online.

[tags]dying,funeral,coffins,funeral caskets,funeral caskets online,buying caskets[/tags]




How To Pick Music To Be Played For A Funeral

Tuesday 24 February 2009 @ 12:42 pm

Picking out the music to be played for a funeral can be a very difficult task. Funeral music should be selected to pay tribute the loved one that has passed, and should be music that touches the hearts of those attending the funeral, in hopes that it will help them leave with special memories of the loved one that has gone.

Music for a funeral can be chosen based on the personality of the person that has passed, to help inspire memories that are closest to this persons personality. One should try to select songs that are going to leave a message of hope for the one that has passed so that the mourners leave with a feeling that the deceased will have life everlasting ahead of them. Songs should not always picked because they are traditional, but they should really give thought to the reasons that this person was loved and cared for and reflect that feeling as well. When choosing a non traditional funeral song that may reflect the person’s personality best, you may want to give a small speech as to the significance of the song before it is sung for those attending the funeral to understand.

Not only can you choose appropriate music during the funeral, but you can pick music to be played during the funeral march when the family members of the deceased enter into the church and then depart the church. The song that should be played during this time should be a bit solemn to express the feelings that the family members are feeling.

To assist you in picking music to be played at a funeral, one could contact family members and close friends of the deceased. These people are ones closed to the one that has passed and can give you good insight as to what sort of music they enjoyed the most which should in some way be incorporated into the funeral.

After you select the music you want to have played for the funeral, be sure to choose a musician or singer who is comfortable with your song choices and knows the words and music well. When making your music selections to be played, try and find the actual words for the entire song, making sure that they are appropriate for all ages of those that may be attending the funeral proceedings. If you have a difficult time picking the music to be played for the funeral, you can feel comfortable asking your pastor or priest, soloist or musician, and even look through a hymn book to help make those music selections.

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[tags]funeral, funeral music, picking musice for a funeral service[/tags]




The Greatest Generation Holds Its Place In Front Of Us All

Monday 23 February 2009 @ 10:54 pm

Not too long ago I took in the Clint Eastwood film, Letters from Iwo Jima, at a local theater. Although it had only been out for a short while I was surprised to see the tiny theater in which it had been relegated. This film, about some of the most courageous souls on Earth, clawing their way through the Pacific towards Japan, had competed with a number of pop culture movies out at the same time. No problem though, whether large or small, this theater on that evening afforded me with a closeness to undoubtedly one of our nations most coveted gifts, a member of the greatest generation.

We have all heard the numbers regarding the passing of some of the greatest generation. Each day, over 1000 WWII veterans die. A number that used to total 16 million vets is now estimated at 2.5 million according to the Department of Veterans Affairs. Well, to a student of history and to one who reveres the selfless sacrifice of these great men and women as our most coveted gift of the 20th century, I am saddened by their passing. With each loss, we lose the opportunity to extract just what it was that made them so brave and so successful in America and thereby our hopes and aspirations of replicating them are severely dampened.

Their humility and unselfishness surely rank among their greatest qualities. These after all, seem to bind that generation together more than anything else. The movie was a stirring account of the adversity these men faced in the Pacific. This was but a microcosm of the peril our entire nation and way of life faced during the imperialism and totalitarianism of the 1940s, however, they all rose to the occasion, without question.

I didnt need a movie that night to appreciate the efforts of our brave men and women. On that evening, after our United States Marines raised the flag atop Mount Suribachi, and as the credits rolled down the small screen, I saw him. Across the aisle was an elderly gentleman staring intently at the screen. I instantly saw the message that was presented to me. While everyone else quickly piled out of the theaters exits, this man was honoring the men and women of his own generation.

I stared at him with immense pride. What was he thinking about as the names of our heroes filled the screen in front of us? Had he fought in WWII? Was he searching for the names of his fallen brothers? How many names would he recognize on that screen? Or, perhaps his eyes were closed as he relived the precious moments he shared on Earth with the heroes of that time.

I was also embarrassed as my generation saw fit to scramble for the exits instead of reading the human scroll of sacrifice before us. To most of my generation, it may have just been another war movie. After all, it were these fallen heroes of WWII that enabled us to enjoy things as American as apple pie and going to movies in the first place. None the less, I could only take responsibility for myself, so I sat there beaming with pride and hoping that the gentleman would catch a glimpse of me with my reverence towards him. Thank you for your service, I thought to myself.

This man reminded me of my late Uncle as well. Sgt Thomas Mallon served in the Big Red One outfit in the European theater of WWII. He was shot twice, each time being afforded not only the opportunity to heal those wounds but to get right back into our fight for freedom. Whats odd is that with my quest for knowledge about all things war, and his late death, I know absolutely nothing else about his service in WWII. I had to read the history books and watch film to learn about the story of the Big Red One and their heroic efforts. This spoke to the embodiment of that generations humility and their humility is surely what lends to their greatness.

So on that night, I was reminded of just how powerful a generations call to duty can be. I am also cognizant of the fact that the greatest generation is quietly calling on my generation to lift the mantle of freedom above our shoulders and further its place in this world. On that night, one man represented millions and held his rightful place, in front of us all.

William Stephenson has been publishing inspirational articles on the internet for years. Read more from William at William D Stephenson.com or learn about another of his interests at All Posters Prints, Note Cards, and Free E-cards.

[tags]European Theater,Greatest Generation,imperialism,Pacific Theater,Sgt Thomas Mallon,totalitarianism[/tags]




Making a Dignified Funeral Service

Thursday 19 February 2009 @ 12:26 am

Funerals are a time of reflection, a feeling of loss, some remorse, but definitely a very emotionally charged event. If you find yourself in the position of needing to plan a funeral service there are a few rules you should adhere to in order to try and insure that the funeral you are organizing is a comfortable as possible for those attending yet as dignified as possible to the memory of the deceased. There are so many aspects to organizing a funeral and it is important to get the basic needs taken care of as efficiently as possible.

If you are asked to organize a funeral for a loved one you need to be certain that you are emotionally able to take on the task. It is usually a family member that winds being put in charge of organizing a funeral but in many cases it winds up being the family member that did not really volunteer but rather did not speak up loud enough to deny the task. If you know you will need help through the process then request help. It is understandable that emotion will take over at some point and you will need assistance in completing the arrangements.

Families are sometimes very volatile groups and an emotionally charged event like a funeral can often cause problems to come up that would not normally come up. But a funeral is a time of remembrance and it can be surprising at how well all family members can come together for something as emotional as a funeral. The point here is to not complicate a funeral by feeling that certain rules need to be made to accommodate certain family members. Unless there are legal documents involved you can assume that even the most volatile of family feuds can be put on hold during the time of a funeral.

In many cases people will outline their own funeral arrangements in their will and these are the last wishes of the deceased and they should be carried out to the letter. Remember that no matter how close you were to the deceased the ceremony is not for you, it is a memorial for the deceased. Even if you disagree with the way that the deceased wanted to be memorialized and then put to rest it is your job as the funeral organizer to remember that you need to craft the funeral around the final wishes of the deceased.

Funerals are very emotional events and there is a lot of work that needs to be done in a short period of time to make sure a funeral goes off without any problems. Put faith in your family and also do not be afraid to ask for assistance when you are asked to organize this emotional event.

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[tags]cremation, cremation services, death, funeral, grief, funeral service, planning a funeral[/tags]




Helpful Information On Bereavement Grief

Monday 16 February 2009 @ 1:53 pm

Bereavement comes in many forms that can be equally devastating, whether it is for a loved one, friend, or even a pet. The emotions experienced during bereavement can vary from shock and denial to anger and even guilt. These can be especially difficult to deal with because the range of emotions that a death causes are often unexpected. However, wide range of feelings is normal.

Learning to cope with a loss does not happen all in an instant. Most mental health professionals no longer believe that bereavement progresses conveniently through five different stages. Reminders of absence, such as holidays, can be a continued source of grief. A sudden death or suicide especially requires a lot of time to adjust and grieve.

Sharing this difficult time with others can be a source of mutual support. Isolation can be dangerous to emotional health during a period of bereavement. There are different ways to get involved. Sometimes the best thing to relieve the burden of the bereaved is to help with practical considerations such as meal preparation. Although the situation can’t be fixed, sharing your memories or feelings about the deceased can be a great consolation. Support systems are fundamentally important during bereavement. Attending a memorial service is one of the easiest ways to get and share support.

Often the effects of grief resemble those of depression, such as changes in social, sleeping, or eating habits. Sometimes panic attacks can occur. There is also the possibility of developing post-traumatic stress disorder. Or, if a bereaved person is having excessive difficulty getting on with life, he or she may be experiencing what is known as “complicated grief.” In such a case, counseling may be in order.

Outside help may also be necessary depending on the circumstances of the death. A sudden, violent loss or suicide can be especially difficult, as can the death of an immediate family member. Complications in grief tend to be more common in these circumstances, as well as for people who have had past traumas or separation anxiety.

Sooner or later, everyone will go through a period of grief and mourning. Eventually it becomes possible to move on, though this does not happen on its own without an honest acceptance of the loss. At that point, the freedom to enjoy life can return and new relationships can start. One of the best signs that bereavement has been navigated successfully is when one is able to reach out to others, especially those who may be experiencing grief themselves.

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[tags]grief, death, dying, funeral, funeral home[/tags]




Should Assisted Suicide be Legalized?

Friday 13 February 2009 @ 7:29 pm

Right up there with abortion and stem cell research lies another controversial life or death issue: assisted suicide. If you ask anybody their opinion on the legalization of assisted suicide, you’re bound to get a strong reaction. There are countless moral and legal arguments for and against assisted suicide. And as this practice becomes legal in more and more places, people are being forced to take a side on this hugely controversial issue.

The Arguments For

No matter what your views on assisted suicide may be, you probably acknowledge that there are many good arguments for allowing people to decide when it’s their time to die. For one, many believe that, as people have control over their lives, they should also be allowed control over the manner of their deaths. Many also believe that death is a personal choice, and that allowing somebody to die rather than suffer incredible amounts of pain is the compassionate thing to do.

Many terminally ill patients can decide on death by simply refusing to receive any further medical treatment. One point that many assisted suicide supporters make is that, as these patients have a way to control their own destiny, terminally ill or suffering patients for whom refusing treatment would not mean death should be given another option. And since suicides will take place with or without the law on their side, an open, effective, and painless option is the best for everybody involved.

The Arguments Against

For most of those who are opposed to assisted suicides, the argument is generally more black and white. Because taking a life is immoral, assisting somebody to die even when terminally ill or in great pain is also immoral.

But there are also practical (rather than moral) objections to assisted suicide as a whole. Because doctors can’t always be 100% correct when determining how much life a person has left, some intentional deaths may be unnecessary and waste a life. In addition, many worry that assisted suicide would reduce the public’s confidence in doctors, as well as open patients up to potential abuse. In the case that a patient has no family or is a drain on the medical system (or, in countries without health care, is unable to pay his or her medical bills), many worry that a patient may be pushed into opting for assisted suicide.

How Doctors Feel

Assisted suicide is not a new issue; since medicine as we know it has existed, doctors have chosen distinct sides on administering death to their patients.

In general, most doctors tend to be against the legalization of assisted suicide. They often refer to the Hippocratic Oath as part of their argument. As part of this oath, doctors must not “give a deadly drug to anybody if asked for it.” In the U.S. state of Oregon, a recent law was passed legalizing physician assisted suicide. But of the state’s doctors, 67% said that they would refuse to assist in a suicide if asked. And, according to surveys, those that have actually helped a terminally ill patient to commit suicide did so with great reluctance.

Like abortion and other similar issues, assisted suicide is a vastly personal topic, and which side you come down on will have a lot to do with your background and religious beliefs. Many question whether or not the government should be able to legislate morality; if laws should exist to protect those that do not wish to be protected. But others believe that opening the door to assisted suicide might be a little like opening up Pandora’s Box. Once that door swings open, you never know what unintended consequence might come drifting out.

In the end, assisted suicide is a vastly personal decision, and even though most people feel very strongly about it one way or another, their opinions are legitimate and completely their own.

This article was written by Shawn Wilson, a member of the customer support team at Datepad, where internet dating is always free. Datepad has a massive directory of informative dating articles along with a great list of dating site reviews on their dating blog.

[tags]assisted suicide, death, dying, doctors[/tags]




Getting Though The Painful Loss Of A Spouse

Thursday 5 February 2009 @ 11:49 pm

Losing a loved on is painful, and no more so than when it is a spouse. No one is ever ready to completely say goodbye to their spouse, and that is normal and perfectly healthy. It is important to understand that while you will always miss them, it does get better. Regardless, it is still important to grieve.

The first step is to acknowledge the loss. After we lose a spouse, we tend to focus on caring for other family members while they grieve, arranging memorial services and funerals, and trying to maintain a semblance of normality. Until you acknowledge the loss on an emotional level, you will be unable to begin the healing process. Allow yourself to experience your grief, your guilt, or your anger but do not allow it to consume you. Continue reaching out to friends and family, they are there for you.

Do not rush to purge your belongings of reminders of your spouse, even though well intentioned loved ones will urge you to do so. Too many changes at once can shock the system. Also in your grief you may get rid of something that later, when you have adjusted, you will miss. Your spouses shoes by the front door are not hurting anyone. In fact it can be comforting to have reminders like that nearby.

As you begin to return to and redefine your daily routines, much of the pain may be behind you. There will still be bad times, but there will begin to be more good times. When anniversary dates roll around, such as the holidays or birthdays, be prepared to revisit your grief. Over time, these dates will become easier to handle but they will always be a reminder of your spouse. Start new traditions on these dates, though do not take on more than you are ready to deal with. New traditions will help you form new happy memories and will take some of the sting from the holidays.

When coping with the death of a spouse, there is no proper length to grieve. It takes different lengths of times for everyone. While participating in outside interests or volunteering can help you rebuild your life, be careful not to do too much too soon. Start small, and build up as you find yourself beginning to enjoy the activities you once loved again.

Eventually, sadness will turn to happy and bittersweet memories. You will be able to flip through photo albums or come across possessions that once belonged to your spouse without being overcome by waves of mourning. Our loved ones will always be alive in our hearts.

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[tags]grief, death, dying, loss of spouse, grief support[/tags]




Whats Types Of Flowers To Buy For A Funeral

Tuesday 3 February 2009 @ 1:48 pm

The funeral of a loved one or friend is always a difficult time. Many people choose to express their feelings, pay tribute, or offer their respects for the deceased with flowers. In fact, funeral flowers are usually a traditional element in most cultures and religions, with the exception of the Jewish funeral. Still, many people have trouble figuring out what type of flower best expresses their feelings, while still adhering to proper etiquette.

The traditional funeral flowers are: chrysanthemums, carnations, irises, gladiolas, lilies and roses. These are always a safe selection, and they reflect somber sympathy. Red and white are the traditional funeral arrangement colors for Christian religions. Chrysanthemums are available in white, pink, yellow, burgundy, green, and tan. The white chrysanthemum is the most popular, as it denotes truth and honesty. Lilies are available in white, salmon, yellow and pink. Because of their unpredictable bloom, they should be ordered well in advance. Gladiolas symbolize strength of character. Red carnations and roses denote passion. White carnations denote truth. White roses represent innocence. Irises denote faithfulness and hope. Most of these flowers (in white) can be sprayed or dyed to other colors. Asters, daffodils, and tulips are also popular choices.

The buyer should consider their familiarity with the deceased. Avoid making personal selections for casual acquaintances or business associates, and just stick to the traditional funeral flowers. However, if the deceased is a close friend or relative, it would not be inappropriate to let the flower selection reflect the personal taste or life of the deceased. For example, if the buyer knows that the deceased loved to travel to Mississippi on fishing trips, then magnolias might be a good selection. If the deceased was an avid gardener, then look to their garden for inspiration. The favorite color of the deceased could also be reflected in the flower selection. Keep in mind that not all flowers have the longevity for a funeral, and out of season flowers may be very costly. Flowers with an overpowering scent should also be avoided.

Even with the traditional flower selections, the buyer will still want to pay attention to the details. For example, it would be considered a faux pas to send all pink flowers for a male funeral, or all blue flowers for a deceased female infant. It is also prudent for the buyer to know the religion of the deceased. For example, Mormons do not adorn anything with a cross. Sending a Mormon any type of flower arrangement in the shape of a cross would be insulting to them and embarrassing for you.

Choosing the right floral arrangement can be a difficult task. Much needs to be considered. But, the traditional funeral flowers are generally considered the best selection because of their universal sympathy message, freshness longevity, availability, affordability, and their scent does not overpower an enclosed room.

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[tags]death, dying, flowers, flowers for funeral[/tags]




Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One When Tragedy Strikes

Sunday 1 February 2009 @ 7:08 am

The loss of a loved one is difficult regardless of the circumstances but when tragedy strikes loss can be even more devastating. You are never prepared to lose anyone of any age but when a person is ill or elderly you tend to know the inevitable will happen. But when someone dies suddenly by tragic means such as a car accident, murder or other unexpected event it is especially difficult to deal with.

As an only child, I was very close to my mother. I honestly did not know what I would do without her. She passed away at the age of 73 after a blood clot caused a massive stroke. Needless to say, I was not prepared for my mothers death. Considering her age and the many health problems she suffered from, I knew the day would come. A few years later, I lost my husband. He died at the age of 37 from injuries sustained in a car accident. I was in complete shock. I had always believed we would grow old together. The loss of my husband sent me into a deep, dark depression. It seemed as if my life had ended when his did.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is not easy but you must realize that you need to move forward after a period of grieving. The person you lost would not want you to stop living. There are others in your life who need and depend on you. Even if you dont have children, you do have friends, family and perhaps co-workers. There are several ways you can cope with grief and move forward even when you dont want to. There is no set amount of time to grieve and there is no sure method to coping with loss. Everyone is different and will grieve in their own way and time.

Keep a journal and jot down all of your feelings. You can express your anger, pain, hurt and grief through writing. No one ever has to read your journal if you dont want them to but it will be there for you when you need it. Keeping a journal can be very therapeutic and can help you work through the grief. Honor your loved one by creating a collage of photos or other crafts. It will help you stay busy and feel close to your lost loved one as well.

Dont be afraid to cry. You dont have to be strong. Cry as much as you need to and allow the pain and anguish to wash from your soul. Crying is a natural part of the healing process as well as the grieving process. If it helps you to talk then do so. Call a friend or relative. Join a grief support group. It helps to talk with others who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. It also reminds you that you are not alone. We never forget those we lost and we never stop loving them. Time may not completely heal all wounds but it does dull the pain.

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[tags]grief, tragedy, tragic death, funeral planning[/tags]




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