Connecting to another person through verbal conversation, especially someone that you are unfamiliar with can be a difficult skill to master. This skill also seems to be diminishing as each generation passes. The primary reasons involved in creating this change include the anonymity that the internet provides and the increasing electronic hold over society with the advent of cell phones and text messaging. However, at the same time there are still many circumstances that require the ability to engage in good conversation. Creating rapport between you and a person that you’d like to spend more time with is one of these instances.

The main point when trying to learn how to create instant rapport with another person is that showing interest in the other person is the most honest and effective way of communicating. People like the idea of other people being interested in them, so if you listen to what another person has to say about themselves and then ask the person questions based upon what they have said then you are already creating a rapport between the two of you through the interest that you’ve shown in the other person. It is impossible to show interest in another person without at least getting some interest back in return from them, which is why showing interest is the absolute best way to create instant rapport.

While showing interest in another person is good, there is such a thing as showing too much interest. Questions based on what a person says are great things to ask when you are having that first conversation with them, but at the same time questions that are pushy and overly personal make people uncomfortable. People don’t like to be pushed into giving out information and for that reason if you encounter a roadblock when getting to know someone, smoothly change the subject to something else. People appreciate that type of consideration and most of the time you will go up in their estimation for showing it.

Another thing that you might want to avoid when trying to create a level of rapport with another person is suggestion. If you’re at all suggestive in the speech that you give chances are that the reply you get in return won’t be particularly flattering. Suggestion in speech, especially if that suggestion is lurid, is something that tends to turn most people off when first getting to know someone. If you’re interested in truly creating a rapport with this person that can lead to something bigger and better down the road, then suggestion is not the place to start. Interested discussion that is not pushy and devoid of suggestion is most definitely the way to go.

Most of the areas in which you are likely to meet someone that intrigues you are areas that tend to be crowded. Nightclubs, bars, parties, meetings and get togethers are all places that tend to have a large number of people in them. For this reason, getting to really build up a rapport with the other person can be difficult because of all of the factors nearby that might run interference against you. Suggesting seclusion in the form of something like a walk around a nearby path might be a good idea if you sense that the person would like to chat with you more. Walks allow both of you to be active while at the same time leaving things open for additional rapport to be built up in the form of good conversation.

Creating instant rapport is something that takes time and practice, the more people you engage with in conversation, the easier it will be to gain a good rapport with.

Scott White is a certified personal trainer and nutritionist. In addition to owning one of the top Personal Trainer | Personal Training websites he is also the owner of many other websites. Check out and