One of the greatest fears of anyone in a relationship is the idea of their partner betraying their trust with another person. While in most cases cheating is considered a physical act, it is often not the act itself, but the betrayal that causes so much heart ache.

After enduring a betrayal of this kind many people find that they are highly suspicious, even paranoid about it taking place in a new relationship. Even those who fully understand their unreasonable behavior find often find that rational thinking is not always an instant cure for jealousy caused by such painful past experiences.

If one suspects that their partner may be cheating, but in actuality has no real proof, the temptation to act in an irrational manor becomes very incising. Whether this reaction is to ignore one’s feelings entirely, perhaps even turn a blind eye to any potential evidence, or perhaps become fixated on the idea and suspicious of every move one’s partner makes the result is often dismal.

While the most obvious choice for most individuals who suspect their partners of infidelity would simply be to ask there is no guarantee that once confronted your partner will be honest about their actions. Knowing that a person is capable of betraying your trust does not often inspire a great deal of confidence with such terrible suspicions.

An alternative to either ignoring the problem, or spying on your partner might be to carefully monitor any strange behavior. While it denotes a lack of trust to, say test if you will, your partner’s loyalty, this may be a way of discovering the truth without risking any further injury regardless of the outcome.

Testing the Waters:

* Ask about any unaccounted for time and watch for any signs of a reluctance to answer.

* Invite your partner on a spontaneous date at a time when you suspect they might be meeting someone else and ask them to explain why they won’t be able to make it.

* If you believe that your partner is using work as an excuse, drop by during a time when you suspect they will not be at work with a surprise gift and see whether or not they are indeed working.

* Immediately following a time when you suspect your partner of cheating get as close to them physically as you can and pay attention to whether or not they seem reluctant to touch you until after a shower or bath.

* Casually question any suspiciously timed bathing as most people are creatures of habit.

Though not all tests are exclusively male or female, nor does every person necessarily fit into a particular set of rules, many people share some common reactions when confronted with signs of infidelity:

Cheating Boyfriend Test:

* While most men’s friends would never tell you whether or not your partner has been cheating, men tend to be less secretive than women. Watch for any signs his friends may unknowingly give you about there being another lover in your boyfriend’s life.

* Though most men wouldn’t wish for too many of their girlfriend’s belongings to clutter up their homes, a great reluctance for you to keep anything at his place might be a sign of him hiding your presence from someone else.

Cheating Girlfriend Test:

* Many women enjoy discussing their future plans for marriage and family when they feel secure in their relationships. Try discussing, even casually, the possibility of your future together (within a reasonable amount of time in the relationship,) and see how she reacts. Because women are less likely to fear commitment in general, this may mean that she is not particularly taken with the idea of settling down with you.

* Watch for any new clothes or trinkets to appear in your lady’s wardrobe and ask her where she got them. If she stumbles or hesitates in her answer it is likely that the item was a gift from someone you’re not supposed to know about.

Infidelity in Marriage/Living Together Test:

* Whether you ask women or men, being secretive often accompanies infidelity. Taking note of any behavior that indicates something is a little off and not being explained may simply mean that your partner is planning a surprise party for your birthday; but if that date passes and you still suspect funny behavior you may try asking your partner whether or not they have a hidden agenda.

* Cheating in marriage, or a serious relationship, is often more noticeable because couples tend to get into routines in their daily lives. Most couples also share any new changes, for better or worse, with their partners that would naturally explain any alterations to their normal daily patterns. An abrupt, unexplained change may cause for alarm.

* Though many couple’s sex lives tend to slow down after a period of time together, a complete lack of interest in any sexual activity can be cause for some concern. Though this lack of interest can be caused by stress, depression or many other fairly common problems, without any explanation the answer maybe that your partner’s needs are being met elsewhere. Discuss this lack of sexual activity with your partner and watch for any signs of resistance.

Attempting to carefully detect whether or not your suspicions of a cheating spouse are accurate is difficult task to accomplish. It is vital to the success of your relationship that you learn to differentiate between valid reasons for these thoughts and mere jealous whims.

Forcing your partner to defend themselves when they have never given you cause to suspect them of such a betrayal will undoubtedly be hurtful and place a strain on your relationship; however to ignore such feelings that may begin to tear at the very fabric of your relationship will certainly lead to even larger problems.

Remember to be as patient and understanding as possible, at least until you can be sure that your suspicions are justified. It may also prove useful to have some idea of how you feel if the worst should prove to be true. Though acts like this plague relationships every day, you may want to hear your partner out before deciding upon a course of action.

In some cases, when a relationship has become routine or stale an infidelity may simply be the result of feeling neglected or insecure; though certainly not an excuse for the behavior, it may help to understand the reasons for your partner’s indiscretions.

However you decide to proceed, remember that impulsive actions in this type of situation will often cause more problems than they resolve. Depend on those you trust and love for support and keep in mind that whether or not your suspicions are accurate, one day you will heal and move on with your life.

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[tags]cheating, infidelity, unfaithful, cheating boyfriend, cheating wife, cheating husband[/tags]